Ad Silvam Ibimus

Just a little introduction so you can all understand what got this whole thing started. This is a note I received in my e mail one morning from my dear husband after many weeks of hemming and hawing about what we wanted to do. I had told Claudio that the decision was his. I could stay where I am or pack up everything in a moments notice I just needed the word from him. Once again prayer worked to soothe and enlighten the soul! :

This morning after my prayers I came to a better understanding of my situation.

I dug down deep into the very marrow of my being, back into my childhood and the essence of who I am. I thought to myself...what is it I always wanted to do with my life? The answer was always obvious. In high school, I thought of living out in the country and being a writer. When I came to college and met my roommate, I told him that I dreamed of moving out into the country and being a writer. After I left college, I dreamed of moving out to the country and being a writer. Then I started a business, then I got married, and more practical considerations came to the fore. But the dream remained.

All my life, I've been looking longingly at the green empty parts of the map. As long as I can remember, I've loved the outdoors, loved the country, loved the rhythms of the seasons. Already when I was a kid, I was already thinking about solar-powered cars and houses. I listened eagerly to my parents' stories about the farmers during the war, about the canning and preparation for winter.

If I have not been bred, stamped, and prepared for the life we now want to lead, then black is also white and down is also up.

I like our little house. I like Mount Holly. I like our church. I like our new friends. There are things about our life right now which are very pleasant. And comfortable. But underlying it is the nagging sense of restlessness that comes with a life of ease and comfort that is not meant to be. I suppose it's like a religious calling--you *could* stay in the world as you are, but you will not be happy there and it won't ever bring you the satisfaction that you crave. That's exactly how I feel.

This life is also disconnecting myself from my existing vocation, because it isn't true to who I am or to you. What I need is rather, a deeper and truer fulfillment of my true calling, my true vocation of marriage and family. That vocation is getting squelched here.

So where do we stand? It's time to put first things first. If you and I are both in agreement in moving out to the country, then ad silvam ibimus--to the woods we will go.

My job, instead of running my life, will now be put into service of that dream. We will move away. And meanwhile, I will get back into the swing of writing and making money that way.

We are done here. We've waited long enough for our dreams to be handed to us by the world. It's time to go out there and get them.